Loss
by ShenXinliang
Summary: After the battle of Geonosis, Anakin has to accept a new addition to his body...


Loss

Pain. So much pain. The flashing of a red blade reaching him slowly, like all that had happened in slow motion. The hot burning lightsaber connected angrily with his right arm. With a sickening feeling he could sense it gliding effortlessly through skin, muscled flesh and bones alike. The pain made him dizzy and sent him jolting back, strangely off-balance and he stumbled backwards crashing to the hard floor. Pain.

He lost consciousness.

The Force tingled weirdly around him while he slowly awoke without the slightest clue where he was, what he was doing here or how much time had passed. His eyes hurt in the bright light of the room and everything seemed oddly white and clean. Here and there was metal and the quietness of the surrounding felt heavy on his ears.

The pain was the only thing left familiar to him and though he hold on to it for dear life.

"How are you feeling Padawan Skywalker?", one of the Jedi Healers asked smoothly and checked the visible vital data as well as the Force signals she was receiving from him.

"Pain", was all he managed to reply and even this single word hurt in his sore throat. He must have been out for several hours. His mouth felt dry and small waves of nausea washed over him that became more violently when his gaze fell on his injured right arm that ended in a heavily bandaged stump shortly under the elbow.

"I will increase the medication. This will reduce the pain", the Jedi Healer assured him and immediately injected a transparent liquid. The spot, from where the painkiller entered his system to spread out, felt ice cold and he winced uncomfortably.

"Is… is my Master alright?", Anakin asked trying to get his mind off of this odd feeling: "Master Kenobi. Is he alright? And Senator Amidala?"

The Jedi Healer paused to look at him briefly, then nodding her head.

"They have both received medical attention and have left the infirmary mere hours ago. Their injuries have been less severe than yours Padawan Skywalker. The medication will sedate you soon and you should rest now. Before that, drink", she instructed and helped him to sit up a little. He swallowed some mouthful of cool water before lying back down and closing his eyes.

He shut out the pain of his injured arm as the medication started to numb the feeling and equally numb his senses, letting the pure Force settle itself around him to help him heal.

It was hours later when Anakin opened his eyes again, struggling free from the sedatives because he had felt a soothing presence in the Force. Something familiar. Together with the dull pain in his arm that now felt like aching with every heartbeat and as if someone had punctured it with several needles. He didn't dare look at it, still horrified by his loss and the ugliness of a chopped off limb.

"Breathe easy, Padawan", Obi-Wan´s voice instructed with an air of authority and gentleness all the same.

Anakin hasn't even realised that he had held his breath at all. The lack of oxygen took his toll immediately and he nearly choked while trying to suck as much needed air into his lungs as possible.

"Easy, Padawan!", Obi-Wan warned him and pressed a hand lightly to Anakin's chest to calm him down. Together with this physical assurance he also send comforting waves through their Force connection.

His panic increased the pain in his body and the nerve ends in his arm, punctured by electronics to attach a prosthetic hand later in his recovery, sent confusing messages to the brain. It has not yet accepted the loss of an important limb.

"Breathe easy!", he repeated himself and this time it sounded more like a command, than reassuring words. Anakin's education as a Padawan answered the command immediately and his panic vanished into the Force, leaving him with the dull pain and a certain dizziness to his already aching head.

"Master", Anakin croaked, almost not able to utter the word: "Master… is all… are you… am… all right?"

Black spots danced in front of his vision and he closed his eyes again when a raw palm made contact with his sweating forehead. The gentle touch felt even better than the Force connection to his Master. It was so much more real and calming.

"Master…"

"Don't be afraid my young one", Obi-Wan said gently: "This catastrophe of a battle turned out to be less worse than feared. Count Dooku escaped, but everyone is feeling alright. Sleep now and rest. Or try to meditate, when you have too much energy left. In a few hours your new arm will be ready"

New arm. Why had his Master to speak aloud this horrible truth instead of leaving him peacefully in oblivion? There is no denying, it is not the way of the Jedi. But acceptance and bravery is.

Anakin waited till his head stopped spinning, before he took a deep breath and glanced to his right arm. Or to the part where is right lower arm and hand should have been attached. It didn't look as bad as the last time he had risked a glance. Bacta treatment had already healed the wound mostly and a metal plate had been attached it.

He carefully lifted the injured limb a little while Obi-Wan was watching him. Electronic data flew lazily through the many wires, invisible for the human eye. Even so for Force users.

"When they attach the arm and hand it will be as good as new. After some training you should be able to use it like your old hand", Obi-Wan said gently, but could not resist to lecture his student: "It will be a part of your body from now on. Acceptance is the way of the Jedi, don't forget that, Padawan mine."

Anakin remained silent, closing his eyes again.

It was some hours later when he sat upright in a medical room with two or three medi-Droids around him. He couldn't resist watching them while they worked to attached the metal arm to the plate. It didn't hurt, but he had a strange feeling every now and then when they connected wires and nervous information shot to his brain.

He tried to relax and wait patiently, he would be able to explore his new body part soon enough and could see for himself how exactly it worked.

"Move your fingers. First all at once to form a fist, then every finger!", one of the medi-Droids instructed him and obediently and with a nervous flutter in his stomach he tried to move his hand. To his utter surprise it worked and responded just like his old hand and he could move it easily.

"You may go", said the mechanical voice and all three Droids bowed before him, before they turned back to do other business.

Anakin slowly got up and left the medical section to return to the Jedi Temple. His eyes never left his metal hand, flexing the fingers in awe. He had the strange feeling that the wires responded to his thoughts even faster than his real arm so that the speed of his reflexes was increased.

A very insecure smile appeared on his face. As long as Padmé later was able to accept his new limb he would be too. Maybe this loss wasn't as bad as he had thought at first.

The End


End file.
